October 1

October 1...

If I am being honest, last year the idea of a year seemed too big to comprehend. Last year a very massive mountain moved into my way. It blocked my path and obstructed the view I had. It changed what I thought God was leading me to. October 1, 2018, my best friend moved away. We are super close and we spent everyday doing everything together for six years. That same day, I was diagnosed with Cancer.  I felt like the doctor slapped me in the forehead with a label that I didn't want to accept. I was gripped with fear and misplaced with emotions. One year ago today, I was physically and emotionally sick. I stayed on the couch everyday for months unable to function. That mountain snuffed out everything else going on around me. It completely blocked light from my view. 

Although I was in a place of pain, I heard God say to me,

"I know where you are, I know what you have and I know what you need! I will provide everything for you and you will see breakthrough." 

I trust the Lord with my heart and life. I know His words are truth. I trust Him. But...many battles have I encountered. Stuck in a place too dark to see, to tight to breath and too difficult to understand.  I can testify of His goodness and tell you that He has brought miraculous provision into my life. The passed year, God has stirred me in ways I have never known before. My personal relationship with Him has been taken to another level. I have experienced deep, intimate and beautiful moments that cannot be described in words. His grace has been sufficient and His mercy has carried me. I declare I am healed in the Mighty and Powerful Name of Jesus! I feel so much better than last year. I am no longer in constant pain, physically or emotionally.

In January, God began showing me mountains everywhere. I saw them in my dreams. I saw them at church. I heard about mountains in songs. I saw them on Facebook, tv and pinterest. Everywhere! Then in June I attended youth camp as a leader and the first message was from Deuteronomy.

"You have stayed on this mountain too long." Deuteronomy 1:6

That message hit me square in the heart. That night I was delivered and healed. I left that place more free than I had been in months! Just like I said earlier I still have hard days, but I have a stillness in my heart. A steadiness that only comes from Jesus. 

Sept 9th the Lord spoke that same verse in a message at our church! Confirmation! I have learned that sometimes the mountain will move, sometimes it won't move but we are given the endurance to climb over it to the other side.